Thursday, June 3, 2008: Still Stable

I went for blood work and had my CA125 testing done yesterday. The results came back at 44 (it was previously 42) which means . . . I'm still stable! I have to admit deep down I am still hoping to hit that "magic 35" but I am thrilled that I am stable. I can't believe life has been so busy that I forgot to post that I was going in for my monthly lab work. It has been good though - lots of playing and visiting with family and friends! Speaking of which, time to get back to playing with the kids now! Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday weekend!

Thursday, June 26, 2008: Lost . . . and Found

I know last week I mentioned that we were struggling with depression. Well, earlier this week I fell into the "pit". I guess you have to hit the bottom before you can climb up again. I had been keeping a lot in and you can only bottle up so much before it overflows. The tears came and came and finally ended. Brian found me in my pity party and helped me out of it. I just needed to spill my guts.

I have been feeling worthless lately. I felt like cancer made me "special" and now that the cancer is gone I am no longer special. I know, I know, I'm wrong. And I in no way want cancer back to feel special. I have been wanting to be normal again for so long that now that we are, I'm not sure what to do with it.

I made an appointment with my psychiatrist and am going to see her tonight. I am actually feeling a lot better but I still need to talk to her to learn how to better handle it next time the depression comes my way. I have had depression for many years and I'm sure I will have it the rest of my life. I just need to learn how to better deal with it.

The title of this update is "lost . . . and found". It hit me earlier. I was feeling lost and alone and today I feel found. The reason for this is because of a devotion I read this morning. The verse is Luke 22:32 But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." It says in the devotion . . . after the clouds clear and we have withstood the storm, we must "turn back and strengthen our brothers."

This gives me new purpose. I can't just go on like normal. I need to turn back and help other women who are struggling with cancer. I need to encourage them by sharing how my faith got me through and how God healed me. I also need to encourage other women who deal with depression.

While I went through depression years ago I wrote a lot of poems. The words just flowed through the pen. This was something special that God did through me. I haven't showed them to a lot of people. I did think of trying to publish them but never did. I didn't think my poems were good enough. They aren't my poems though. They are God's work. And I have been hiding it.

I am reading a book called "for the Write Reason". It has been very encouraging to me and I think will help me to get the poems out there and also help Brian and I with the book we want to write about our journey through cancer.

Wow, speaking of writing books, I think I just did! Thank you for reading and sticking by us. I am always amazed and the number of people that check our blog. I think "now that the cancer is gone, why do they still want to hear about our life?" But you're not just checking on our lives, you're seeing God's work shining through us.

Thank you to our faithful readers and prayer warriors. We are still working on an open house date but life is so busy these days that it has been put on the back burner. We will have it though because we want to say thank you to all of you who have supported us and to praise God for all He has done for us!

Saturday, June 21, 2008: Hello from Lake Leelanau

We are camping near Traverse City with Brian's parents this weekend. So far we are enjoying beautiful weather but it looks like a storm is on its way.

It was a busy week but we are relaxing now. It doesn't really seem like camping when we have wireless and cable tv. That's not how we camped when I was a kid. The kids are loving it and we are all relaxed and having a great time.

Just wanted to check in and let everyone know that we are doing good. Thank you for your prayers and comments and e-mails. We have so many encouraging friends.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008: A Quick Update

Wow, I can't believe I haven't updated the blog since last week Friday! Life is so busy here. The Relay for Life was very neat. Even though it rained a lot there was still a ton of enthusiasm. I didn't get as many miles in as I had hoped but I am so glad that I went. I am working on getting the pictures posted. My dad was nice enough to lend me his camera since Brian had ours and I forgot to download the pictures before I returned it to him. I'll get them up soon.

I do have some prayer requests for our family. I think both Brian and I are going through a bit of a depression. I don't understand why I am feeling so down when the cancer is gone. I remember thinking just a year ago that when the cancer was gone and chemo was done I would be so happy and relieved. I have struggled with depression before and recognize the symptoms. I also can tell that the devil is getting his jabs in. I want to continue sharing how my faith got me through this battle and yet some days I just want to hide from everything cancer related. I don't think God wants me to dig a hole and hide though - that would put my flame out.

Brian recently saw a show on tv that talked about statistics on cancer returning. He was quite down after that. He seemed a bit happier today but I can tell he is still struggling. He is still extremely tired too. He even left the fathers day party early so he could go home and take a nap. If you know Brian, he hates taking naps. I know he must have been tired to leave so early.

Well, I titled this update "a quick update" and now I've rambled on and on. Sorry. Just needed to spill my guts. I've been keeping a lot inside lately. A friend called me yesterday and after an innocent "how are you" on her part I gave her an earful. I don't know why it all spilled out - I guess God knew I needed to let it go. I did feel better after I talked.

Thank you for your prayers. I know shortly after posting this the prayers will start and joy will come in the morning.

Friday, June 13, 2008: Relay Day

Thank you again to those of you who donated! There are so many good causes out there and it is overwhelming trying to decide who and what you want to sponsor. Over the past year we have been one of the "causes" that many of you have donated to thanks to the many fundraisers that were held on our behalf. I can't possibly explain what a huge relief it was being able to pay our medical bills without having to take on any extra debt. God worked miracles through all of you by taking care of that burden for us. Thank you just doesn't seem enough.

I am anxious to see what the Relay for Life is all about. I have read about it and checked out the web site but I think I have to experience it before I really "get" it. We're heading out soon and hoping that this beautiful weather stays all night!

Thank you again for your donations, support and prayers. I will update the blog over the weekend hopefully with some pictures of the event.

Sunday, June 8, 2008: Thank You

Thank you to those of you who have donated to the Relay for Life! From what I understand, it is fairly easy to pay using a credit card by clicking on my personal home page (which is now listed on the right side of the blog). If you would rather donate by cash or check, I would gladly pick it up from you, however, I do need to turn all donations in this Friday. Thanks so much for your support of such a good cause.

I do have a prayer request for our friends, Mike & Sheryl. Mike's father was diagnosed last week with a rare form of skin cancer. He is going to the U of M on Tuesday. Please pray that this cancer has been found early enough. It is a very fast growing cancer and the earlier it is found, the better the prognosis. Mike and Sheryl are on vacation with their family this week. Please pray that they will be able to enjoy this time with their girls as there is nothing that can be done at this point for Mike's dad other than pray and wait. Mike has two sisters in this area that can be with his parents.

This brings back a lot of memories for me. I had the stress of dealing with the thought of having cancer and my family and friends had to deal with the helplessness of watching me deal with it. Please keep the entire Boes family in your prayers - I will keep you updated.

Thank you!

Thursday, June 5, 2008: Woohoo!

My new CA125 level is 42! Woohoo! Emily wore underwear yesterday with no accidents! Woohoo! Today is the kids last day of school! Woohoo!

God is good all the time - and all the time God is good!!!!!

Monday, June 2, 2008: It's Potty Time!

Woohoo! Hooray! Emily went on the potty tonight for the first time! Some day she will probably be horribly mortified that I posted this on the blog for the world to know but for now we're saying it loud and saying it proud!!! Yea Emily!

Happy stuff aside, we do have some prayer requests - I will be going in this week to have my CA125 level tested and should have the results on Friday. No longer are we praying for the magic "35", we are now praying for "stable".

Also, I have been having some stomach problems today. Although it is probably just a simple stomach bug, it is quite similar to the symptoms I had prior to finding out I had cancer. Something as simple as a stomach ache can bring extreme anxiety.

Please pray that our nerves will be calmed and that this blood work will be nothing more than our monthly reminder that God has got it all under control. Hmmmm, as I type that it reminds me of a cyber-friend of mine. Her blog is called www.Godhasgotit.blogspot.com. She is battling breast cancer for the 4th time over the past 7 years. Her blog is awesome and I'd encourage you to check it out.

We will update the blog as soon as we have some results. As always, your prayers are appreciated so much.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008: Relay for Life

Here is the link to my Relay For Life home page:


http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RelayForLifeGreatLakesDivision?px=6644185&pg=personal&fr_id=8083

Tuesday, May 27, 2008: An Ordinary Family

It seems so strange to just be "ordinary" again. I have been doing things like cutting the grass, going on camping trips and on field trips with the kids. All these things that I wasn't able to do last year. It has been so wonderful not thinking about chemo!

I am so busy these days it's hard to believe that I even had time for cancer last year. I think I was so out of it because of medications and surgeries and chemo that I missed a lot that I don't even realize.

One thing that I missed last year was the Relay for Life. My neighbor walks it every year with her mom and girls as her mom is a cancer survivor. Last year they took Ashley with them and it really made an impact on her. I remember them saying "next year you will have to walk with us". I also remember thinking at that point that there was no way I would ever be able to do something like that. Well, never say never! On June 13 I will be joining them. Ashley will be coming with us as well. I am sure it will be a very emotional but wonderful time.

I will be hitting you all up for donations soon :) I am still figuring out my donation website and when I get there (actually, after Brian helps me get there) I will put the link on the blog.

Well, it is way past my bedtime and everyone else is already asleep so I should probably get to bed now. If I stay up much longer I may have to break into the bag of M&M's in the cupboard! Which is actually a prayer request. While I was on chemo I could eat anything and would still lose weight . . . well, chemo is done and so is the losing weight part. In fact, I am putting the pounds back on. I am at a good weight right now and need to stay that way. I would appreciate prayers for willpower to eat right and also for exercise. Yup, still struggling with the exercise thing. I'm trying and taking baby steps but it has been baby steps for a few weeks or more now and it's time to start taking bigger steps.

Brian has been patiently trying to motivate me while I know he would rather put my tennis shoes on me and shove me out the door for a walk. I can even feel God trying to nudge me to take better care of myself. It is so easy to slip back into old habits.

So, some prayer requests are:

*Healthy eating and exercise for me

*The kids would stay focused and end the school year on a good note (they are done next week already!)

*Brian is still tired :( He went to the doctor and they ran a great deal of tests (thyroid, food allergy, etc) and they all came back normal. So he continues to try to find an answer.

Thank you for covering this "ordinary" family in your prayers!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008: The Blog Turns One!

Our blog turns one today! Can you believe it?! I remember sitting right here in this chair in this same spot “launching” the blog one year ago. It seems like yesterday. We’re so glad that you all have enjoyed reading the blog. It has been a tremendous help for all of us. It helps keep our friends and family updated and it allows us to talk about normal things when we get together with any of you. Thanks for all of your encouraging comments about the blog - they motivate us to keep it updated. The blog has also turned into a wonderful ministry. We have received countless e-mails from strangers who discovered our blog by doing different internet searches. Kristi has been able to minister to several strangers or simply just give advice to their struggles. She has developed some very neat “e-relationships” and some personal relationships too. Very cool!

There is something else that makes today stand out…it is also the one year anniversary of when Kristi’s parents came over and told us Eric was diagnosed with ALS. Eric was diagnosed on May 18, 2007 but we were told 2 days later. You know when some major event happens in your life and people ask you “do you remember where you were when…?” This was one of those events. I was sitting right here in this chair when they stopped over and told us the news. What a year 2007 was. Forgettable, but unforgettable.

So what’s next for us? Well, in the short term we’re going to enjoy this 3 month reprieve from doctors visits and we’re definitely celebrating being chemo-free. Kristi will still have to go in for monthly blood work to get her CA125 level checked – but that’s just at a clinic, not the doctor’s office. Dr. Downey won’t call her “in remission” until her CA125 stays level for a year. At that point he said he would be willing to call her in remission. He hesitates because of this cancer’s tendency to come back. For now, we’re just enjoying what I said above…no doctors and no chemo for the summer! Last year we lived day to day. Sometimes hour to hour. Every time the phone rang last year we held our breath. More bad news? Another trip to the hospital? To be able to go 3 months without seeing a doctor is a huge blessing for us.

We’ve had some people ask us “are you going to keep the blog up?” Yes, we are. We will still have monthly CA125 results to report (next one being the week of June 9) as well as Kristi’s overall health. It’s a great way to keep in touch with all of our out-of-state family and friends. We pray that all the entries going forward will be positive.

Kristi asked me to put a video together of the past year and a half reflecting on her battle. So, in my quest not to disappoint her, I made the video below. Hope you enjoy it. Oh yeah, there’s a little surprise at the end of it. Take a look…

Monday, May 19, 2008: Kristi's House

Many of you may not know the history here so let me give you the background. Our church recently purchased Kristi’s parent's home they built about 25 years ago...the house Kristi grew up in. The house (and its property) is attached to our church’s property. Our church purchased this property a few years ago from Kristi’s parents to accommodate future expansion plans. After Kristi’s parents moved out of the house, the church decided to convert the house into a duplex and use the house for transitional housing for people in need. So they needed a name for the house other than calling it the “old Kammeraad house” (Kristi's maiden name is Kammeraad). The thought was that this house would give people hope, inspiration and a fresh start during some transitional time in their lives. So when the church leaders thought of hope and inspiration, they thought of Kristi’s battle with cancer. So there it is…the name of the house: Kristi’s House. Kristi is really honored that they thought of her. She says it’s kind of a weird feeling having a house named after her.

Yesterday, our church had a dedication of Kristi’s House. After our church service, our entire congregation walked through the woods that separates the church from the house and surrounded the house. We prayed as a group then broke into small groups and all prayed over the house. Two families have already moved into the house. Our prayers of course are that the new families find hope and inspiration in the house and can find their new beginnings. Here are some pictures from the dedication service:

Sunday, May 18, 2008: Life Is Good

We are all doing well and enjoying being back to "normal". I don't honestly think I will ever be normal again though. This past year has changed our family for the better. We have grown in ways I could have never imagined.

Right now though I am at a loss for words. I have been sitting at the computer for over 20 minutes and I just honestly don't know what to type. Usually the words just come flowing out. God usually puts it on my heart what He wants me to share and tonight I am just clueless.

I don't want to just "babble". I do want people to know that we are doing really well though. So, for now I will just sign off and will update again another day. Have a marvelous Monday!

May 12, 2008: The Results Are In

I am officially done with chemo and on a "maintenance" plan for doctor visits!!! My CA125 was 47 (which is exactly where it was last time) and the CT scan didn't show any concerns.

My doctor said I'm not technically "in remission" because my CA125 isn't "normal". They consider normal to be 35 or under. I think that my normal is between 40-50. Guess that means I'm "above average" :)

I will be going for blood work once a month. My next doctors appointment is in 3 months and my next CT scan is in 6 months. As time goes on these appointments will become further and further apart.

Brian should be home soon and we're going out to supper to celebrate but I wanted to quick let everyone know the wonderful news! Thank you for your prayers!!!

Sunday, May 11, 2008: The Countown Begins

Okay, so I actually started counting down a long time ago for tomorrow's appointment. Probably even over a year ago. From day one I have been looking forward to the point where we could say "we did it, we crossed the finish line!". We are so close. Tomorrow's appointment is at 1:15. I haven't been stressing about it or dwelling on it but occasionally my mind wanders there and thinks "what if".

Realistically we need to be prepared for the possibility that it isn't gone yet. Or for the chance that it may return some day. We need to realize that this may happen.

Optimistically we believe that the cancer is gone and will never return.

So what do we do? We become optimistically realistic. We hope and pray for the best with the understanding that we need to be prepared for whatever may come our way. We have to accept and believe that God's plans are what is best for us.

So, we ask for prayers that we will have the strength and courage to handle whatever news we hear tomorrow.

Also my entire family is out of state right now. My parents and Eric & Lori are in Washington D.C. and my brother and his family are in Alabama. Please pray for safety for them and for peace of mind as they wait to hear from us after tomorrow's appointment.

Another prayer request is for Brian. He is extremely tired these days even though he is able to sleep at night. Please pray that he will be able to find out the cause of this fatigue soon.

I hope the moms out there had a wonderful mothers day. I enjoyed a long nap this peaceful rainy afternoon. There's not much better than a good nap. Okay, so maybe the words "your cancer is in remission" may beat out a nap!

Eric Fox Family Celebrating Life

Eric Fox Living With ALS

Whatchya Doing Tonight?! from 6 - 9 PM

Please read to help our brother

(Lori is Kristi's sister)

Tuesday, May 6, 2008: Happy Birthday Brian!

Just a reminder that this Friday is the Fundraiser for Eric & Lori. Even if you don't know them I think you would have a great time! Check out www.foxfamilyfundraiser.org. They have the items listed that they will be auctioning off. There is tons of stuff for the kids to do as well. Although this will be a very emotional evening for our family, I am so excited about how much this will help them with the future costs that this disease will bring.

On another note, today was Brian's birthday. He has been trying hard to ignore it (he's getting a little too close to "40"). I think he had a good day today and he's already sound asleep. I should be sleeping too so I guess that is it for now. Thanks for reading and checking in on us :)

Sunday, May 4, 2008: Do you hear Him?

Last week Friday I had a ct scan. I realized Friday morning that we forgot to post this on the blog as a prayer request. Friday morning I received an e-mail from a friend saying that he felt God was nudging him to spend some extra time for me in prayer that day. He also e-mailed me to make sure I was doing okay.

First I thought even though I forgot to ask for prayers, God knew I needed some extra prayers and prompted a friend to take care of that need. Then I was thinking . . . is my mind quiet enough that I would hear God prompting me to pray for others? Sadly enough I don't think it was. It has been filled with vacation details, school stuff, doctors appointments and much much more.

This was a good reminder for me to stop and listen. I'm glad my friend did . . . . thanks Jack. :)

Next week Monday (the 12th) I have an appointment with my oncologist. I will have blood work done this Friday (the 9th) and we will get the results of the blood work and ct scan at that appointment. (If the ct scan shows any concern they will notify us sooner). I am trying not to think about that appointment because it's a "biggy"! This will be the official "all clear" with cancer. Yikes! I'm normally a reserved person but I think I may just let out a holler when I hear the words "the cancer is gone". I already believe it in my heart but to hear the words will be music to my ears. I've already started planning the party! :)

Brian is still fighting some sort of bug. He has an occasional sore throat and has a cough that just won't go away which is very frustrating to him.

Please pray for patience this week as the countdown begins to next week's appointment. Thank you!!