Sunday, February 8, 2009

Sunday, February 8, 2009: Chemo Eve, Again

Christmas Eve only comes once a year. Why can't Chemo Eve come once a year? Or never. Physically Kristi is doing OK (all things considered). The nausea and fatigue have worsened with each round. To say she is dreading tomorrow would be an understatement. She had a 2 page update all typed up but then deleted it because she said it was too much of a "downer". I guess we are just getting tired again of the cancer story. Everything we do revolves around the cancer. Cancer cancer cancer. It's everything we do. 24/7. I guess we're just a little burned out. Kristi just wants to run and hide. Some days I do too.

About 2 months ago I upped my "happy pill" dose (per my doc's recommendation) and I say it has helped. Some people are surprised I'm so open about taking an anti-depressant. I say "who cares"?! Depression is the invisible side of any struggle that people don't often see or hear about. But - it can be just as difficult (or worse) than the physical struggles. It's so hard to see her down like this. Tonight, please pray not only for Kristi's physical well being, but also specifically for her emotional well being. She really needs a lift.

I've been sitting here staring at the screen for 15 minutes and have run out of things to say so I will end the update for tonight and we'll update later in the week. Thanks again for your blanket of prayers.