Friday, October 23, 2009

Friday, October 23, 2009: Letting Go

We have a cold making its way through our house this week. I came down with a headache and sore throat yesterday and had a few swollen glands in my neck. I also have what feels like a pulled muscle that goes from my ear down to my shoulder. It is also near where my chest port is.

I called my nurse and she said to take motrin and if it doesn't go away in a week to give them a call. I decided to do a little research on my own through google. Yes, I know, bad idea. My mind had convinced me that I had lymphoma. I freaked out. Many different scenario's went through my head and none of them were good.

When I went to bed that night I grabbed my daily devotional book. All the devotions are dated and I typically read the one for the day. That night the book flipped open to September 22 and the devotional brought me peace . . . .

Trust me and refuse to worry, for I am your Strength and Song. You are feeling wobbly this morning, looking at difficult times looming ahead, measuring them against your own strength. However, they are not today's tasks - or even tomorrow's. So leave them in the future and come home to the present, where you will find Me waiting for you. Since I am your Strength, I can empower you to handle each task as it comes.

I am trying so hard to leave tomorrow's problems in the future but it is so difficult. I have to make myself "let go" of my problems on a daily basis - multiple times during the day. I let go of my worries and ask God to take them from me but five minutes later I've taken it back and am trying to battle it on my own. I spend time researching symptoms when I should be reading the bible for answers.

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. Matthew 6:34 The Message

I've been praying and praying one of my favorite phrases "let go and let God". I figured it wouldn't hurt to call in for reinforcements. Prayer warriors - start your engines :)