Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Wednesday, July 20, 2011: Been a While

I haven’t updated in a while.  I know.  To be honest, it hurts too much to open up the blog.  In fact, for this update I am typing in Microsoft Word and cutting and pasting into the blog.  When I open up the blog I see that smile; I see her, and it brings it all back.  Just typing this I had to run up to my bedroom and cry (so the kids didn’t see me). 

Anyway, we’re all managing here.  Ashley is keeping very busy.  Nathan is still very quiet.  He opened up a little bit in his last visit with his counselor.  Then there’s Emily.  She hasn’t really missed a beat.  I did decide to start her on some counseling as well. 

Overall, I think we’re probably all “on schedule” as far as the healing process goes.  I have started back to work nearly full time.  Getting out of bed is the most difficult part of my day…not because I’m lazy, but because it feels like I’m buried under 1,000 pounds of cement.  Once I get out I’m usually OK, but everyday it’s a struggle.  Next week I will try to begin going in at 8.  Before all of this, I was always in between 7:00/7:30.  This week it’s been a struggle to get in by 9:30.  So, we’ll see how it goes next week.  Pray that some of this weight will be lifted, and pray also that the hurt in the kids, whether visible or not, will begin to dissipate.