I’ve really been struggling with this blog thing. I’ve been keeping a journal all along of our victories and struggles. It was my personal journal so I felt free to write whatever I wanted. But now, I feel like I need to edit/filter my/our true feelings so we don’t worry everyone. In fact, some of the early postings in this blog were just cut and pasted right from my journal…then I was reading them the other night and I realized I was probably kind of hard on myself and even Kristi mentioned something about it. I refer to myself as a “loser husband”, etc…but then I thought to myself…”my mother might be reading this!”. So, I went in and edited some of the early postings. That wasn’t really the intent of this blog. The intent of this blog was supposed to be our/my true feelings/struggles so that everyone could understand what we deal with from day to day. So you can see/experience/pray for our extreme mood swings. The mood swings/emotions can swing back and forth like a pendulum out of control some days...as some of you have experienced first hand! So anyway, I’m going to attempt to start using this as more of a journal like I used to and try to be as honest as I can…to an extent. Just know that if one day there is an entry that isn’t so “bright”, don’t think the sky is falling. All we ask is you say a little prayer and chances are next time we see you things will be better again.
I also added a lot of Kristi’s early e-mails that I left out when I first set up the blog. So, if you thought you were all up to date…sorry! I added about 10 or so entries from March/April.
Well, now for the update…we had a great weekend with friends and family! Friday night we had ‘family night’ and had a fire and made s’mores. Suzanne and Larry stopped by long enough to enjoy a s’more with us. Saturday night we went over to the Rietman’s for a grill out. Sunday night we had the Dantuma’s over for a grill out then tonight we had Kristi’s family and my parents (and brother) over for a grill out. All in all, a good weekend. The weekend got off to kind of a rough start for Kristi though. Friday night was good (my last blog entry), but then starting Saturday evening after dinner she started getting nauseous, tired, and an upset tummy set in. Nothing to do with Denny’s cooking I’m sure! It wasn’t pretty until Sunday afternoon. The nausea and upset tummy got better but the fatigue stuck around for the remainder of the weekend. She was still able to visit with our friends and family though so that was good. Kristi mentions something in her e-mail (below) about how wonderful I’ve been over the past week…but seriously, what husband wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing. I’m doing what I can to get by. I just wonder how single parents do this though. I can hardly handle it for a week; how does anyone do this full-time?! All 3 kids yelling at the same time! I just sit down on the couch to read the paper when...Ashley wants to jump rope, Nathan's thirsty, Emily, well, she just yells to make noise - it's what she does. AHHHHHHHHHHH!! Every day.
We have the following prayer requests:
- The 3rd dose of round 4 goes in tomorrow. This will go into her stomach port. Please pray that everything goes well tomorrow.
- Pray that Kristi will rebound from the chemo quickly.
- Her fatigue is quite severe again. We’re thinking her red blood count might be too low again. Pray that her blood count isn’t too low for chemo tomorrow.
- Pray that she gets her energy back soon.
- Kristi has been having a hard time sleeping lately. For the past few nights she just tossed and turned all night. Pray that she gets good sleep...because she wakes me up too!! :)
- Pray for Kristi’s weight…she’s to a new low. Please also pray that this won’t affect the plan for tomorrow and that she will get her appetite back and gain her weight back. She hasn’t been this light since she was 14.
- Pray for Emily as she goes off to Grandma and Grandpa Rogalske’s for the week. She always does well there, but we’ll miss her. Ashley was quite upset tonight as they took her away again.
- Pray for my parents as they have Emily this week.
- Please remember Ashley and Nathan also. Mommy will be down for about another week and we all miss having her around.
- If you’re not prayed out by now, say a little one for me too as I’m tired and cranky…and I too miss having my best friend around. Many nights she struggles just to stay up and be with me to watch TV or just hang out, and that’s great, but she often is like a zombie. In other words, I could be talking or trying to get her attention and it’s like she just has this blank stare in her eyes. I love having her company but miss her sparkle.
Kristi just chillin in the tiki hut before the company arrives...
This one had to be strategically cropped...
We bought this pool for Emily, but look who's on the outside looking in...
My Dad and Grandpa Ditmar relaxing after dinner
Cousin Carlos entertaining Grandma...
Here's Kristi's e-mail she sent out tonight...
Mon 5/28/2007
5:16 PM
Hi everyone,
I hope you are all enjoying this beautiful Memorial Day. We have enjoyed a wonderful weekend with friends and our family is coming over tonight. I have been quite tired this weekend and not able to do much more than visit with friends but thankfully, as always, Brian has taken on the role of dad, nurse, chauffer, psychologist, housekeeper, chef, and much much more, and does it with a smile. I don’t know what I did to deserve him but I’m sure glad I did! Well, enough gush! I go in for day 8 of chemo treatment tomorrow. I can’t say I’m looking forward to it but at least we know last time the stomach port worked without a single complication. The only side effect I’ve had is a great deal of fatigue, which we can definitely handle.
Please continue to keep Eric & Lori in your prayers as they adjust to this new phase in their lives. They have specifically asked for prayers regarding Veterans disability (Eric served in the gulf war). They applied for this last Friday and are waiting to hear if they will be approved. This would greatly relieve some of the financial stress.
Finally, I want to say a huge thank you to everyone. I am so far behind on thank you notes I don’t think I’ll ever catch up. Please know that all the meals that are brought are so very much appreciated and we say a prayer of thanks for the family that brings it. Your gifts from books, flowers, CD’s, fundraisers and so much more have been extremely generous and we will never be able to thank you enough. Please excuse my bad etiquette in not getting thank you notes out and know that we are very grateful.
Some specifics:
*energy for me – although I’m grateful to only have fatigue as a side effect, it is very frustrating to get tired so quickly
*chemo tomorrow will go without problems
*that my appetite will increase
*Emily is going to Brian’s parents for the week – pray that she will stay healthy and be good for grandma & grandpa (is she ever naughty? J)
*the kids as school is quickly coming to an end
*continued extra patience and love for Brian as he fills in for me
Love,
Kristi
