Thursday, March 20, 2008

Thursday, March 20, 2008: No more chemo???

Well, I am taking a huge leap of faith. I have decided to temporarily and hopefully permanently stop chemo. I will be taking the month of April off for sure. We will still get my CA125 level checked on April 14 and then again in May. We have an appointment with my oncologist on April 14th and will get his opinion of my decision at that time. I have called my nurse to let her know so my doctor has time to process this before our visit.

The past few weeks I have been struggling with the chemo thing. I have been wanting to stop chemo because I feel like the cancer is gone. I think my CA125 level is simply going down on its own back to where is was before surgery. I have been praying for peace with the decision to stop chemo and I have been given that peace. Also, I have Brian's support with this decision. I wouldn't make this kind of decision without his support.

The side effects from this round were much worse than the previous ones. I almost feel like this is confirming my decision. As I sit here typing this I have a ice pack on my stomach to help soothe the skin burns resulting from the chemo. The burns are starting to hurt a little more every day. The only thing that helps is cold showers and icing. Not fun things to do in this cold weather! Right now it looks like I have a bad splotchy sunburn on my stomach and parts of my legs.

I have been trying to silence my mind lately and it's not easy. There are so many distractions! During the silence though I have felt God's peace and am very excited to start this new chapter. Things are crazy here lately as we are planning a trip with our small group to Georgia over spring break and then Brian and I will be going to Las Vegas with my sister and brother-in-law the last weekend in April. Lots of details to be taken care of!

Please pray that I will continue to have this peace. I really believe that God took care of everything during my surgery. I am so ready to start a cancer-free chapter! Lately the verse "we walk by faith, not by sight" has been running through my mind. I have faith that God healed me but lately it seems like I've been focusing on my sight - mostly on the CA125 level. So, I am going to change that and walk in faith now trusting God that I have made the right decision.

Thank you so much for your prayers!!