Sunday, March 22, 2009

Sunday, March 22, 2009: Tears

I have had a lot of tears this past week. Some were happy tears, some were sad ones. We had tears of joy on Monday celebrating my low CA125 level. Both Brian and I were in shock and hardly wrapped our minds around it. We've been waiting two years to pass that milestone!

I was still trying to comprehend it Tuesday morning when Pastor Frank told me that Rich was in Hospice. Talk about going from an emotional high to a deep pit. I was so shocked that he was already gone by Wednesday morning. Rich's visitation and funeral were both very difficult. His wife Mary told me at visitation that Rich prayed for me every single day. I remember him telling me that once. He said "I haven't missed a day yet". He was so dedicated to God and living for Him. I still have tears when I think about him. I can't even fathom the pain his family is going through right now.

Tomorrow is week two of my fourth round of chemo. My doctor would like me to do two rounds of chemo past normal. That means after tomorrow I will have four more visits to the chemo clinic. The countdown is on! My doctor talked about continuing one of the chemos indefinitely. I don't think I like that idea! We'll just get through the next few rounds and see where I'm at then. I had a complete peace when I made the decision to stop chemo last year. I'm sure God will give me that peace again. Last year my body was so weak and beaten up by the chemo that I honestly thought it was doing more damage than good. I had 9 months off from chemo where my body was able to heal and get stronger. I don't have any regrets about stopping chemo last year.

Thank you for your prayers. Thank you also for all your phone calls, emails, flowers, cards and "woohoo's" last week as we celebrated. We had 21 comments on that post! It always amazes me how many of you are out there. It's hard to believe that we are finally nearing the end of this chapter. I have to say though that I am ready for the next chapter. The chapter where I get to share my story of God's faithfulness. He is the reason that I am here today.

I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done. Psalm 118:17.