Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Tuesday, December 29, 2009: I Will Praise You In This Storm

This morning I was sitting in a waiting room while I waited for Nathan. The song "I Will Praise You In This Storm" started playing and I knew in my heart at that point that the cancer had returned. It was God's way of preparing me for the news I would receive just a couple hours later.

Dr. Downey (or as we now call him "Downer-Downey") called this afternoon and said that the lymph node that was removed was cancerous. I asked if they could tell if it was just a trace of cancer or full of cancer and he said "it was more than a trace - we need to get together and discuss treatment options". Soooooo, back on the merry-go-round we go. Actually I guess it is more like a scary-go-round.

Right now there is still a messy house calling my name, sleepovers to be planned, supper to make and all that good stuff. I am actually doing okay and probably will be fine until next week Monday at our appointment. Right now I don't want to think about it. Cancer, what cancer? I don't know nothing about no cancer.

I will get my CA125 tested later this week and we'll talk to Dr. Downey on Monday. We will get more details then. Until then . . . there is no cancer.

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen" and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm