Reality. I don't much care for that word. As I tried to come up with a title for this post though that was the word that kept popping into my head. This week has a big "reality" coming up for us. First though, I know there are a few people that will appreciate the warning that this post will most likely need a box of kleenex nearby. Sorry. Such is life.
Tomorrow afternoon Brian and I are meeting with a funeral pre-planner. She is coming to our house which is so much nicer than the thought of going to a funeral home. Prayers were clearly answered when we decided which funeral home to go with and we even have a small connection with Sue (who is coming tomorrow) through a family that attends the same church as us. We've heard wonderful things (and have already connected some with her through email) and know without a doubt we are in good hands despite the yucky subject.
We have a lot of preliminary decisions that need to be made. Both Brian and I will be "pre-planning" our funerals. Can I just say that seems insane to type. We think that doing this together will make it easier. We are not "planning" this so it's ready to be done any day now but so that whenever the day comes . . . say forty or fifty years from now . . . . all the paperwork will be done. I am so relieved at the thought of having this burden being taken care of. Just knowing that this yucky task can be checked off the "to-do" list will be a weight lifted. However, we still need to get through tomorrow's appointment.
Another reality this week is the fundraiser on Saturday. We have not been allowed to help in any way, shape or form with this. There are some awesome friends behind all this (who would shoot me if I name them but I think most of you know who they are!). I know there is an entire team of people that are pulling this all together and I know it is going to be an amazing night.
The donations that are coming in already are just phenomenal. We are humbled beyond words. Every day donations are made online and every day our jaws drop to the floor in awe and humbleness. It is so obvious that God is working through the hands and feet of this community and providing in ways for us beyond our wildest dreams.
We are planning on being at the fundraiser on Saturday and the kids are so very excited about it! It is a very strange thing for us though. We would rather be the people planning and helping with the fundraiser . . . . for another family. . . it's very different being on the receiving end. Very humbling and hard to explain.
I'm not even sure how to explain this odd request so I guess I will just say what is in my heart. When you see our family at the auction, please just treat us like we are anyone else that is there. Please don't make a big deal about the fact that we are there - we want the kids to focus on having a good time and not let the reality of why everyone is there bring their moods down. It's very surreal for us. We would love for this to just be a awesome time of celebration of God's provision through an amazing group of people. I hope that makes sense?
A quick physical update - I am still having some swelling in my ankle and also some more back pain. Nothing that is extreme and nothing that has me overly worried.
An update on Brian - his sleep apnea has been a bit worse lately. Quite often during the night I will wake up and hear him struggling to get air through his lungs. His body must be exhausted in the morning based on the sounds of his breathing - it sounds like he is using every once of energy just to get air to go through his lungs. I am sure stress is playing a part in this!
We seem to have a small bug going through the house right now with the kids - just some congestion and nothing too bad. Hopefully it will end with that . . . Ashley starts soccer tomorrow and will need all the energy she can get!! :)
Okay so this post has gone on and on so I will wrap it up now. Tomorrow our appointment is at 1:30 and we would love prayers for peace, wisdom and guidance. Tough and awkward and uncomfortable decisions need to be made.
Please also pray for the many people involved with the fundraiser this week . . . I know the last minute details can bring a lot of stress and a lot of details need to fall into place. God is in charge of all these details and He will take care of it all but please pray for everyone involved that His unexplainable peace will be experienced by all.
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. Psalm 94:19