Just over a month ago I sat in a doctors office and was told that I have six months to live. That was a tough day. I've had so many things go through my mind since that day. I've also been through many different physical symptoms. At one point I was in bed most of the time and experiencing a lot of pain (physical and emotional). People were doing everything for us. Everything.
Since then though I have been able to manage my physical pain fairly well and have been feeling quite restless. I know God is still calling me to "be still" in so many ways. I have gotten to the point that I am starting to feel useless. There are so many people in life overwhelmed right now that would love to just have a day to just be still. That's when the guilt kicks in. And the voices - oh the voices are running like crazy through what should be a silent mind.
This morning I pulled out my Jesus Calling devotional book and went to today's devotion. I haven't read this book in a while but God's timing was perfect as always. Here's what He told me today:
I love you for who you are, not for what you do. Many voices vie for control of your mind, especially when you sit in silence. You must learn to discern what is My voice and what is not. Ask My Spirit to give you this discernment. Many of My children run around in circles, trying to obey the various voices directing their lives. This results in fragmented, frustrating patterns of living. Do not fall into this trap. Walk closely with Me each moment, listening for My directives and enjoying My companionship. Refuse to let other voices tie you up in knows. My sheep know My voice and follow Me wherever I lead.
One of the bible verses this devotional referenced was John 10:1-5 . . . here is how it is translated in The Message . . . . .
"Let me set this before you as plainly as I can. If a person climbs over or through the fence of a sheep pen instead of going through the gate, you know he's up to no good—a sheep rustler! The shepherd walks right up to the gate. The gatekeeper opens the gate to him and the sheep recognize his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he gets them all out, he leads them and they follow because they are familiar with his voice. They won't follow a stranger's voice but will scatter because they aren't used to the sound of it."
Right now the silence is almost deafening. I know my Shepherd's voice but there are so many other voices trying really hard right now to sound just like His. This morning though my Shepherd shouted this devotional to me in my silence and reminded me once again . . to enjoy my companionship with Him . . . . and to be still.