Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Tuesday, March 1, 2011: Surreal Says It All

I am really struggling lately but it's a very different kind of struggle.  It's guilt.  We have been blessed beyond blessed from family, friends and strangers - church, community and school.  All of are needs are being taken care of.  And now an amazing fund raiser is being put on for us.  It just seems so surreal.  I'm fine.  There isn't anything wrong with me.  Okay so I take more pain pills than the average person and I occasionally ride around in a wheelchair named "Breezy".  I do have quite a few scars running up and down my stomach - battle wounds!  Yeah, so a doctor may have told me I have less than six months to live.  Whatever.  Right now it just doesn't seem real.  My pain  medications seems to have my pain under control pretty good these days.  I don't have the energy I used to have (not that I ever really had much to begin with!).  It just seems really weird though reading what people are saying about our family.  It just seems like they must be talking about any other family than ours. 

Now that I'm physically feeling better than I was a few weeks ago it has been harder for me to "be still".  I am still making a point of it though and am learning so many, many things.  I don't know where God is going with everything but it's not mine to know - it's mine to learn - day by day.

I guess for now I just wanted to say a huge thank you. Know that the time, gifts, prayers, love, energy and everything else that you have invested in our family are so much appreciated.

I know there are many people that would like to visit and I will be getting to that point soon.  Thank you for your patience :)