How many of us could be (literally) on our death bed, in our final moments, each breath a struggle, every word nearly impossible to speak, be completely honest and say "I wish he'd beam me up already!"? That's what Kristi said today...that's my girl! She is the bravest, most courageous woman I know.
This girl is amazing. She is so excited to get to heaven she is getting frustrated at waiting. The other night she was chanting "take me now, take me now, take me now". When I sit in the lounging area of our room sometimes I just stare at her. She sleeps most of the time but when she wakes up and sees me, her face just lightens up, her eyes open as wide as they possibly can and she gets this great big smile. Then she nods off again. But for those 3 or 4 seconds my heart just melts. It doesn't matter if it's the first time of the day or the 100th time of the day...every time she smiles at me like it's the first time. I will miss that smile the most.
What keeps me going is how excited she gets when she talks about meeting Jesus face to face. She is so ready to go and that brings some healing to the hole that will be left in our hearts. I asked her today if she wanted me to post a prayer request on her behalf. This is her prayer request:
"God, please take Kristi home to Jesus now; she is ready"
When I told Ashley this, she said behind a face drenched with a steady flow of tears, "then that's what we have to pray for, Dad". I lost it. Absolutely lost it.
Thank you, Ashley, for your courage, and for reminding us "old" people that it's not always about us, about what we want. You are wise beyond your years. I love you, Dad.