Monday, November 19, 2007

Monday, November 19, 2007: Bittersweet

Well the good news is that my surgery is scheduled for December 18. I'm sure you've guessed that I have to follow that up with the bad news. My CA125 level went from 42 to 45. Yup, it went up. Needless to say, we were stunned. I didn't see that coming.

My doctor said that he wants to do the surgery now because that level has plateaued. The cancer left seems to be resistant to the chemo I'm on. He could switch to a different chemo but he knows how much I want the colostomy reversed and he also would like to have a visual of what is going on. So, the plan is to do the surgery and see exactly what we are dealing with. He did say that it is possible that he won't find a trace of cancer left.

Sorry I didn't get this out sooner. My doctor was running almost an hour behind and then he sent me for a chest x-ray after the appointment. I also have a CT scan on my stomach scheduled for 11/26.

More good news is no more chemo until next year! Only 29 more days until my surgery and then after 6-8 weeks of recovery I will begin a different chemo for a couple rounds depending on what is found during surgery.

That is mostly it in a nutshell. We've gone through a few emotions this morning. I've gone from shock to sadness to here we go again and now I am again at the peace I had after I initially was diagnosed. I'm not scared - I will beat this.

Brian, my reality based husband, isn't there yet. He has faith but he is also an engineer where numbers and statistics are important. Please keep him close in your prayers.

I know the CA125 level going up is going to be hard for a lot of people to hear. Myself included. I was ready to sing out the hallelujah chorus when I heard the number under 35! Needless to say I wasn't singing. I suppose I could have burst out in a low voice "nobody knows the trouble I've seen, nobody knows my sorrows" but that is nowhere true. God knows my troubles and he knows my sorrows.

We're just going to cross this bridge just like we've crossed all the others - by fully relying on God!