Thursday, November 1, 2007

Thursday, November 1, 2007: Teeter-totter

Brian and I seem to be on a teeter-totter. I think that's how you spell it. You know the toy at the playground that you sit on and one person goes up and the other goes down? We seem to be emotionally doing that this week.

I have been down a lot this week. I have been so physically tired the past couple weeks that it is making me emotionally tired. I have been resting every chance I get which means I don't get a lot done around the house. When I don't accomplish much, I don't feel good about myself. And so the snowball begins.

Today though, at 10:30 I felt a weight lifted. I don't know what prompted it but I'm guessing someone somewhere said a prayer. I just felt lighter emotionally and I had more energy today than I've had in a long time. I even managed to do some cleaning around the house and have supper ready - I even made a cake. The kids wanted to know who's birthday it was - that tells you how often I bake!

Brian seemed to go down tonight. He has been so busy taking care of us lately that it kept him distracted somewhat. We try to balance hope with reality and I think tonight reality kind of kicked hope out of the way for a while.

We haven't had much time together these days - we've been like two ships passing in the night. Tonight we had about a half an hour together on the couch when the kids were busy playing in the other room. We were finally able to catch up on what our weeks have been like. It is amazing how quickly time flies.

Please keep our daily dose of hope and reality in your prayers. It's a tricky balance. It is so amazing to think that there are probably prayers going out every single hour of the day for us! I've had times where I feel like I am floating on a cloud of prayers. Those are the awesome times. Unfortunately the hard times are still here. I know that we grow in those times but when we're right in the thick of it, well, as Brian often says . . . cancer sucks.

Wow, when I start typing it's hard to stop! Thank you for reading and following our journey. Please especially keep Brian in your prayers tonight.