Sunday, September 13, 2009

Sunday, September 13, 2009: We Warned You!

Well, you can't say we never warned you. Right in the header of our blog we have the word "CAUTION". We realize that people who love us very much read this blog daily (our parents, siblings, closest friends). This blog was created for a way for us to journal this adventure; a kind of therapy for us. Through this journey there will be good times and bad. If you're reading this, you need to be prepared for things to change in a moments notice. We have become quite used to that over the past 3 years.

The past few weeks have not been easy and maybe you have seen a change in our postings. We can't put on fake "happy faces" all the time and pretend everything is wonderful or we wouldn't be real. Yes, we are Christians. We love God. We know God loves us. Never doubted it. Nowhere in the bible does it say if you become a Christian life will be easy. Quite the opposite actually. But one of the most wonderful things about having faith is knowing that God is always by our side.

Today was another tough day. I was on video duty for church this morning. Kristi made it to the 2nd service by herself. She left the kids home because they were too much for Kristi to get ready and out the door by herself. So Kristi sat with her mom near the back. About half way through the service Kristi broke down. She walked out of church and drove home. I caught her in the parking lot and followed her. When we got home we just laid in bed. We tried napping but just laid for about 2 hours. We talked a lot. Pretty much decided we're taking a break from chemo. Although we appreciate all of the advice, this was a decision we made (although I am intrigued my the medical marijuana idea. For me. I'll investigate). :)

While we were upstairs, Ashley was working on a bible assignment for school. Ashley is our oldest daughter. She is 12. We normally encourage the kids not to do their homework on Sunday, but this is what she wrote:

My Life
by Ashley Rogalske
"My life has been good but hard. In 2007 my mom got ovarian cancer. Ever since 2007 life has been hard for us. Her cancer has gone away a few times but it always seems to come back. I am the oldest child so I feel like I should do a lot of work around the house and keep watch of my younger siblings. God has been faithful to us by staying with us and being on our side. God has never left us and He never will. Gods faithfulness was great in the life of Joseph. God helped Joseph as much as he is helping our family right now. When Joseph's brothers threw Joseph in the pit and sold him to the midianite merchants (Ishmaelites), God was with him the whole time and never left him.
If you are ever having a hard time and don't know what to do, just take out the Bible and read. Here are some verses I found that help me.
Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced. Psalm 105:5
Do not let your hearts be troubled, Trust in God, trust also in me. John 14:1
I sought the Lord, and he answered me, he delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4
When times are good, be happy; when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future. Ecclesiastes 7:14 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
I chose these verses because when I read them, immediately I feel like everything is going to be okay and that God will never leave me and my family. I feel like I am free from worrying and everything will be okay. If your are ever feeling down or not so well, find verses in the Bible and that will calm you down. "

What do you say to that?! I just broke down and cried in her arms. I was so proud on one hand but so mad on the other. I believe this experience will ultimately make these kids better adults, but I feel like they are being cheated out of a part of life. This sucks. This really sucks. That's how we feel right now. Pray that we will be rejuvenated soon. Thank you so much!