I have been in a dark place. I have been trying desperately to find good in this life but evil kept triumphing. I would find a glimmer of hope only to have it encompassed by darkness. I was so tired of getting up only to fall back down again. So I decided it was easier to just stay down. Why get up when you know that you will inevitably fall back down again? If I stayed down I was preventing the sting of the next fall. Right? Um, nope.
The sting of that next fall was always there with me. What I was preventing were the feelings of joy, peace and of hope. I was letting the enemy win. I'm still scared to get back up and in the ring. I can feel it even as I type this post. The devil is lurking around me like a lion waiting to pounce. His eyes are open - never blinking. He is stalking around - just waiting for that chance to pounce on me - to pin me down and say - "gotcha again". He's waiting for me to give up. Not this time.
Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:1-2