The past 8 months have taught us to expect the unexpected. So today when we got Kristi's new CA125 level we weren't too disappointed. Maybe 2 months ago or even last month this would have set us back a bit; now we just expect this sort of news. We were hoping (and praying) for a number around 50, but it is 69. I was half expecting something like this. I guess that's why I'm not too shocked. I thought it was very strange that this last round brought very minimal side effects. She basically breezed through it. I don't want to minimize her fatigue and neuropathy, but compared to round 6 it was a breeze. So in the back of my mind I was wondering if the chemo was really working. Today we found out it wasn't.
Effectively this is not considered a drop. So, we will meet with Kristi's oncologist Monday morning to get all the details of the new plan. What we do know is that this current "potion" of chemo isn't working. We know that they are going to change the magic potion. She will start going in once a week for chemo, starting on Tuesday. The actual chemo administration time will only be one hour (as compared to 4). Apparently the side effects are less severe with this potion. As a man, and an engineer, it's hard for me to accept what I perceive as this "trial and error" approach. It's hard for me to trust the doctors. After all, it is my wife's life. I often wonder "are they putting in the right stuff?" the chemo is clear so I wonder "is it really chemo?!" "How do they know?" I wonder this every time I see them hanging a new bag. Why would one round (round 6) completely debilitate her while the next round (round 7) hardly affect her?! Am I the only one that wonders this? How can this be? I just have to trust, I guess. That's hard for me. So we'll wait and see what the doctor has to say Monday morning. We have lots of questions for him. A few more thoughts by Kristi...
I was reading a few days ago about how God shows up the most when we are weak. Apparently God has more to say though me and that is why we continue to battle this cancer. I really have felt strongly lately that we are nearing the end of this journey. Looking back at all we've been though makes the few things we need to accomplish yet not seem so overwhelming.
Despite the numbers, I am not worried. I am convinced that I will beat this. God is just making my case unique so there is no doubt that He is the true physician that is healing me.
Please pray for wisdom for my doctor as he makes the decisions regarding my treatment. Pray also for Brian, as you read above, letting people make decisions like this is difficult for him. Also, pray that my platelet count will go up tomorrow. Thank you!!
