“Let your will be done.” That’s a difficult paradigm shift to make in your prayer life. This revelation came from a recent devotion of mine (the topic was about spiritual maturity):
“I think, though, that Mary’s statement marks a kind of maturity. Yes, Mary was probably very young, but for her to say, “Not my will but yours be done” (see Luke 22:42), reveals that God had already moved her beyond the selfish desire to have things her way.”
Another example comes from Jesus’ final hours. He says to Peter “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.” He then goes and prays three times. There is a shift in his prayer style from the first time he prays to the second and third times. The 2nd and 3rd time he prays you can see a shift to a more “let your will be done” attitude.
Think about that in terms of a loved one. Someone very close to you. Let’s say hypothetically your spouse or your child...or you! Are you able to pray “let your will be done” even if it means death?! And in Jesus’ case a horribly painful death. You make a giant step towards spiritual maturity when you are able to pray this way and sincerely mean it. Over the past two years Kristi and I have really been challenged to pray this way. We have come a long way. I have to admit, Kristi beat me to it…not that it was a race. You reach spiritual maturity when God prepares your heart for it. Some of our hearts are just a little harder than others. :) I believe she’s been praying that way since the beginning. I’m much more selfish than her. I started out begging God to heal her…and I still do. But through maturity I have learned to hand it over to God. If it’s His will, He will cure her of this cancer. But…if it’s His will for the other, I have come to accept that outcome as well. I must really be a selfish person if I’m asking God to keep Kristi here on this sick, disease infested, violent, corrupted, sin-filled planet for another 40 years just to keep me company. “Please God, keep Kristi from entering your kingdom where there is no suffering, no tears, no cancer, no sadness, no pain, so that she can keep me company down here”. That sounds cynical, but how true!
Both Kristi and I have been up and down a lot lately. Today was a good day. The past 2 days not so good. For me, it was an innocent comment from Ashley as we were watching Little House On The Prairie that sent me down a slippery slope. A few weeks ago it was a note Nathan wrote in class. When all the kids were writing down what they wanted for Christmas, Nathan wrote “I want my mommy’s cancer to be gone”. I imagine all the other kids were asking for a Wii or a dog or whatever the latest toy is. It doesn’t seem fair that an 8 year old should have to deal with this. But that’s when our prayer warriors step in and help us out…and we thank you for that!! Thanks for covering our family with prayer!!