Thursday, January 1, 2009

Thursday, January 1, 2009: Happy New Year

Wow, I can't believe we have begun a new year. In just 22 days it will be our two year anniversary of my diagnosis. Some days time just seems to crawl and yet when I look back it is just flying by.

I have been meaning to update since Monday and I have been struggling with what to say. I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around what happened on Monday. If I typed out all the God moment events that led up to this meeting it would fill pages and pages so I will just say God made it clear that although this was something completely out of my comfort zone, it was something He wanted me to do.

I had four people praying over me with such conviction. They read scripture and prayed over me demanding this cancer leave my body and that any remaining traces of cancer be burned up by God's holy fire. I have to admit my mind was filled with doubt at first. Even now I am overwhelmed with it all. My mind keeps thinking over and over "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24) I believe that God can do this but I have trouble understanding why He would choose me.

I went in yesterday to have my CA125 checked once more before I begin chemo. Can you imagine if I finally hit that magical number 35?? I will be singing it from the roof tops! For those of you that know me, you know that I prefer to be behind the scenes . . . way behind the scenes! If God has chosen to heal me through these humble servants of His that prayed for me then I will have no choice but to be front and center!

My earthly mind is having such a hard time grasping the possibility and then I think "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isiah 55:9) My simple mind is not able to grasp such a possibility.

Because today is a holiday I won't have the CA125 results until tomorrow. So now, we wait. I am surprisingly not anxious about this. At the beginning of this journey with cancer I said "put your glasses on because God is going to shine bright through me". In addition to that I'm thinking we need to hang on tight cuz God is up to something big!