It's been a stinky rotten day. I am feeling miserable, tired, nauseous and grumpy. Brian took the kids camping this weekend with our small group and I stayed home because I didn't figure I would feel well enough to go. I underestimated myself. I don't even feel well enough to move from the couch to the bathroom. I'm exhausted from the nausea pills that I take and yet the nausea seems to still be there. Let's just say there should be a rule that whatever goes down should be required to stay down.
On top of this, Papi wandered off today and did not return. I have message at the humane society, pet watch and the non-emergency phone line through Ottawa County. He did not have his collar on. I am going to have to break the news to the kids when they return home tomorrow. I am hoping that someone has taken him in for the evening or he at least found a safe place outside to sleep for the night.
Today I have been very disappointed that I feel awful and am dreading what the next rounds of chemo may bring. I have a huge guilt about Papi running away. I'm sure he is on an adventure having a great time but I am so worried about him. I have wonderful neighbors who took time tonight to ride bikes and drive around the block to look for him. He may have gotten pretty far by now but his starting point was near the corner of James Street and Butternut. If anyone out there finds a sweet 3 year old light brown chihuahua/dachshund mix that answers to Papi, please, please, please call me.
All afternoon as I was dreading the possibilities of what could have happened, the song would not leave my head. It is Can You Hear Jesus Calling by 33 Miles. Jesus is trying to tell me that I can get through tonight with out my dog and I need to just listen to his still small voice. I'm trying.
When you see the rushing wind, feel the pouring rain, hear the thunder now as the clouds roll in. You’re blinded by the lightning, do you also hear that still, small voice saying it’s okay, you’re not alone, you may be scared to death but I won’t let you go. You may think the sky above is falling - but can you hear Jesus calling? What do you see when you look at your world today?Do you see a glimmer of hope, or has it all turned to gray?Well start by counting your blessings one by one. Oh and I'm sure right there, you'll start to see the sun. You see there's always another story, another side to every coin. And how you see your circumstance is all about a choice. Because the darker the night, the brighter He can shine.
Please pray that this storm will pass soon and with minimal damage. I'm signing off now - time to go listen for His still small voice.