Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Wednesday, February 10, 2010: A Case of the Grumpies

Grumpy. That word sums up my mood right now. I typed out a comment on a friends blog just a few minutes ago and then my lap top decided that it can’t find the internet connection anymore and poof – everything I just typed is gone. Plus I can’t figure out why it won’t connect so I don’t even know if this update will be able to post.

I’ve been on edge lately and it takes a simple thing like losing connection to the internet to bring my mood from okay to grouchy. I met with a new psychiatrist yesterday. He is fairly new to Pine Rest and he was very helpful. He didn’t use big words that went over my head and I felt like he really wanted to know what was going on with me and that I wasn’t just his “1:00 appointment”. The only thing I had a hard time was with how young he is. Either the medical field is getting younger or I am getting older :)

He seriously looks like he can’t be even mid 20’s yet so my mind judges and thinks “I’ve lived twice as long as this kid has – why is he giving me advice?” The rational side of my brain realizes that it is because he has gone to school and been trained for this job. He was also very personable (which isn’t always the case with psychiatrists).

Anyway, after my appointment we decided that I needed to make a couple medication changes. He doesn’t want any fast changes so we’re just increasing one of my doses for now. I also have an appointment with my psychologist next week. Brian has a hard time remembering which doctor does what so I call my psychologist my “talking doctor (she can’t prescribe medication) and my psychiatrist the “drug doc”.

Now I’m getting irritated because my laptop which is on my lap right now is getting very warm and causing me to overheat which then makes me nauseous. I’m trying my best to stop and count my blessings when I get grumpy. Yes, my laptop may have some quirks and overheat but I am thankful that I have a lap top.

I now have 13 appointments behind me and 14 to go – the halfway point already! My skin is becoming irritated where they are treating. It looks sunburned, it itches and is painful at times. On the blessing side though I’m halfway done, if it’s burning the outside of my skin then it must be attacking the cancer as well, we have medical insurance to help pay for this and I’ve met some really nice people in the waiting room. We may be strangers but we have an instant bond. We all have a different type of cancer but it’s still cancer.

All three kids are in bed (which I think is a record for us!). I’m pretty sure none of them are sleeping but I’m going to take advantage of this quiet time and try to get some reading in.