Sunday, October 31, 2010

Sunday, October 31, 2010: These Sundays

I love Sundays. Sundays around our house are usually very quiet. We start the day by going to our House of Worship. We hang out afterwards talking to our friends drinking coffee. Seems every week we are the last ones to leave - I used to complain about my parents doing this when I was a child and now I'm doing it...Yikes!! When they pack up the coffee that's our sign to wrap it up and head for home. When we get home from church we just veg for the day. We usually don't answer the phone. The kids get a day of downtime from their friends and homework. Mom and Dad sometime work in a nap. Well, mommy does. Dad doesn't do naps. Just relax...that's all we do.

I love Sundays. Well, except for 'these' Sundays. What type of 'Sundays' am I talking about? The Sundays before Downey days. We see Dr. Downey on Wednesday. The Downey days are becoming quite downers of late. We don't know what we're going to do next. Kristi has been having a lot of pain in her lower back and abdomen. When ovarian cancer gets into the lymphatic system it's just a matter of time. What organ is it going to go to next? Right now it's camped out on both sides of her kidneys but hasn't gone in to the kidney yet. Has it now? So maybe a new chemo? Quality of life. That's what we're balancing now. We know the end is inevitable. So do we extend her life by 6 months that will be filled with nausea and more fatigue? Or just let things run their course. Making these types of decisions make the rest seem very trivial.

Kristi gets down on these Sundays. Very down. This time it seems as if her down time started about 3 weeks ago. Today as the day went on I came down with her. I realize it's real. I realize it's not going away. I know what the outcome will be. Yet, I still don't consider myself as 'the guy who's wife is dying'. I know I am. I know she is. I just hate hearing it. I was referred to as 'that guy' today, not directly, but as a part of a teaching moment. I knew who this person was talking about and didn't mind being a part of his story...quite honored actually. Reality is I am 'that guy'. Cancer sucks. It really sucks. And I hate being 'that guy'.

We will post after our Downey visit Wednesday. We can't wait to hear what uplifting inspirational words of wisdom he will have for us this week. NOT.

I'll leave on a happier note. Here are some pictures from our weekend getaway last weekend. Talk about relaxing!