Thursday, June 9, 2011

Thursday, June 9, 2011: Checked Out

Kristi is awake quite a bit during the day but to say she's lucid during that time would be a gross overstatement.  I spent most of the morning and the early afternoon with her (at one time we even snuggled in her bed) but yet, when her dad was sitting next to her later in the afternoon she asked him "has Brian been here today?"  Ouch.

Often times she will ask a question and you give her an answer, then she will look into space for several seconds, then ask you "what are you talking about?"  Many times it's very difficult to even determine what she's talking about.  This is quite a change even from yesterday.

She has also developed quite a rattle in her breathing.  It's so hard to listen to.  It just seems from day to day there are some pretty significant changes happening.  I realize this is all a normal progression of "the process", but it sucks (ir)regardless.

I watched her tonight and just cried.  Then cried some more.  And then some more.  It really hurts just sitting on the sideline watching someone die; and die slowly.  When you ask her she says she doesn't feel any discomfort, so that's somewhat comforting.

There was one nice surprise today...Aunt Diane arrived from Mexico.  We don't get to see her much so she is always good to see...and Kristi was very happy to see her.

Anyway, that's where we're at.  Good night.