Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Tuesday, June 7, 2011: A Sweet Embrace

Not much to report out on Kristi today...she just continues to get weaker and weaker.  The tumor on the left side of her neck that she had radiation treatments for has grown quite large.  You can see a very prominent lump under her left ear about the size of an egg...maybe sticks out about 5 - 10mm.  Her spirits remain very high as she continues to delight the nurses and doctors with her humor.  She is going out with grace, dignity, humor, beauty, and can look back on her life and say "I made a difference". 

This whole experience is surreal.  Kristi summed it up best when she said: "so you're all just basically sitting around waiting for me to die."  To which I replied:  "well, honey, you can word it that way I guess, but I prefer to say 'we're waiting for you to go running into Jesus' arms.' "  Then she says..."you're funny". 

I look at her and ask myself 'could I be in her spot and be as calm and peaceful as her?'  I have to be honest...I think I'd be scared to...well, death.  She just lies there as if to say to herself "OK, any day now". 

Ashley came to visit with her today.  This was a risky decision but after her last visit when their separation was enough to break the heart of even the toughest, most hardened criminal, I felt I had to bring her back for a better "good-bye".  Sure glad I did!  Seeing the look on Kristi's face when she saw Ashley was priceless.  It was her biggest smile of the day; she even reached out to hug her.  It was a very sweet moment.  The two of them just chatted for about 10 minutes about who knows what.  Doesn't matter.  There was a big embrace and maybe just a couple of tears this time when it was time to go.  After Ashley left the room Kristi reached for me to hug and as we hugged she whispered into my ear "thank you, that was the best decision ever".  Whew!  I was nervous, but Ashley did awesome.  She has matured so much through this ordeal it is amazing.  She is amazing.  And I know she's reading this so don't let it go to your head.  Clean your room.  Love you!

OK, enough for tonight.