Sunday, May 2, 2010

Sunday, May 2, 2010: Here We Go Again

Tomorrow Kristi starts another chemo regimen. I believe this is round 42, or something close to that. Who knows at this point. 3 and a half flippin years. We really struggled with the decision to start a new chemo. 3 and a half years we have been trying chemo. Same result each time. When I talked with her nurse last week about Kristi's stomach pains her response was "all we can do is treat the symptoms at this point". That caught me a little off guard. At what point?! Are they giving up? I'm not sure if we ever shared all the details from her last visit. But her latest CT scan showed that the cancer has spread to her lymph nodes on each side of her kidneys and he felt some lumps in her pelvic area. Obviously that is weighing on our minds.

We're both pretty messed up in the heads right now. It's been a really tough 2 and a half weeks since coming back from Japan. Day 2 I was back we had our Dr. Downey visit and day 7 Eric passed away. Our minds are still reeling. There have been many many tears of late. So many different emotions.

Today was supposed to be a day of celebration for us as Ashley made her profession of faith in front of church this morning. But it was hard not to notice the heavy weight of sadness weighing us down most of the day. We're not not dwelling in self pity, we just have a lot of emotions pouring through right now...more than the average person could ever bear. I was asked tonight by a friend for specific prayer requests. I just responded "the general stuff, let's just leave it at that." I don't even know what to really say anymore.

As I had more time to think about it, specific prayer requests would be that we evict satan from the foothold he has on us both. It's time to turn a corner. We're ready for some good times. Also please pray that this new chemo's side effects will be tolerable for Kristi.

We'll see if we can't muster up a bright and cheerful update tomorrow. Sorry, but this is how I'm feeling right now.