Monday, January 7, 2008

Monday, January 7, 2007: God's Will

Well, the news we received today wasn't what we were hoping for but we know that God's plans are the right plans for us and find comfort in that.

The good news is that the microscopic cancer that was found was only in one spot. They took tons and tons of biopsies and all but one of them were clean. The spot that was found was in my omentum. This is a fatty organ that hangs over the abdominal cavity and I really don't know what purpose it serves, if any. Most of it was removed during my initial surgery last January. There was a small part left (which is not uncommon) and Dr. Downey biopsied it. He said it didn't appear to have any trace of cancer but biopsied it to be safe. Thank goodness he did!

So, I begin chemo again next week Monday. I will be on a new type called Doxil. This chemo will have different side effects than my earlier types. I shouldn't lose my hair (yea!) and the nausea and fatigue should be minimal if at all. The most common side effect is sore hands and feet. They can become red and painful and in some cases have open sores. This typically doesn't happen until the 3rd or 4th round.

I will receive this chemo once a month and it should only take a few hours at the chemo clinic in Grand Rapids. They will check my CA125 level at the first visit and as soon as it is normal (the magic number 35) I will need three rounds of chemo. If my level is normal at the first visit then I'll only need three rounds. He said not to be surprised if the level is elevated at the first appointment as it's not uncommon for that to happen after having surgery.

This morning the title in the devotional book I am reading was called "Rejoice Today". Initially I was quite excited thinking "what a great sign - I'm sure the cancer is gone". As I read further I started thinking that this may not be the case. Here's a paragraph from the middle of the devotion:

David the psalmist talked a lot about mornings, saying "This is the day that the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it" (Psalm 118:24). David didn't always feel like rejoicing, but he decided to rejoice in God's new day.

I realized that I need to rejoice in today no matter what results we are given. I think reading that helped me deal with the news that the cancer was still there. I'll admit I'm disappointed but I am dealing with it much better than I would have anticipated. So, our journey continues.

Wow, lots of information. I hope it made sense. We had a lot of information given to us this morning and it's still a bit jumbled in my head. Thank you as always for you continued prayers!