Tuesday, June 19, 2007: Round 5 is Done!

Round 5 is done! Today was dose number 3 of round 5. What a much better day! It started with sunshine and cooler weather. What a treat. I still had some anxiety this morning but as we started driving to Grand Rapids I could feel it lifting. It was almost like there were hands around our van both praying and supporting us. They were behind us pushing, and in front of us clearing the path. I just felt my spirit lifting and the anxiety fading.

They were quite busy at the clinic but as usual, our nurse was wonderful about it. The pre-meds knocked me out cold for a couple hours. If I did have any pain, I wasn’t aware of it! I haven’t had any nausea today. I took a new nausea pill this morning and will take it again Wednesday and Thursday morning. This is a $100 pill! This time we were fortunate that the doctor had samples so we could try them first. If it works (which it seems to be) we will see if we can get a better cost through a mail in order. We got home around 5:00 and had a delicious supper (thank you DeWitt’s!) with my parents and then Brian’s parents came around 7:00 and we visited a little bit until they left with Emily. Fortunately she went with them without a single tear. She always has a blast there.

I am feeling quite tired but can also feel the steroids kicking in too. Hooray for answered prayers! I felt bad sharing my down time in the posting yesterday but I received so many comments from you thanking me for my honesty and that makes me more real. I am definitely real. I felt I needed to be honest because that’s how you know specifically what to pray for. Thank you for all the encouragement you sent us!

Kristi and I were talking tonight about what’s changed in the past month and a half. That’s when I guestimate that our spirits started heading downward – our shine went from a 100 watt bulb down to a 25 watt bulb. Sure, we’ve had some good times, but it seems lately the bad times have outnumbered the good times. Sure, the chemo is getting tougher. But, we’ve determined that it’s more than that – it’s time to recharge! Just like a cordless drill…if the battery spends too much time working and not enough time plugged into the charger, it will go dead…slowly. That’s exactly what’s happened to us. It’s time for us to plug back in to our Power Source! With school ending and Summer fast approaching, we just fell into the busy pattern of late bedtimes for the kids and not enough time in the Word and definitely not enough time spent together communicating. Please pray that over the course of the next few weeks that we can establish a new bedtime routine and spend more time as a couple praying together and just plain old fashion communicating.

The picture of Kristi below is a picture of her resting during chemo. If you remember in the first couple of rounds I said how her body used to twitch and her face winced. It was pretty hard to watch. She no longer does that. She now literally just sleeps through her chemo treatments - very restfully. Today she slept hard…she needed that! As she sleeps, the chemo just drains into her abdominal cavity. That’s it. When she woke up today her stomach port was a little sore as well as her neck and shoulder. Pray that her pain goes away, or is at least tolerable.

I know several of you have said we don’t need to apologize for being “down”, but we truly are sorry. Our sorrow is definitely an example of what happens when we start relying on us and not on Him. We forgot, with God, all things are possible. I think I’ve heard that before! :)

Some very specific requests:

*a day by day attitude to return

*my stomach pain and nausea will be minimal

*my bowels will behave this round!

*my counts were good today other than my white count – I have to start the shots again tomorrow for 10 days. Pray that they will not sting and they will knock the white count back up

*I have had an awful taste in my mouth and it’s effecting my taste buds too. (reaction from chemo). Pray that it will go away and that I will be able to eat and gain some weight back.

*They will be drawing my CA125 level a week from today. If it doesn’t go down enough they will be discussing a new kind of chemo for my treatments.

*understanding, patience and good health for the kids

*an abundance of patience and love and joy for Brian as I will become quite limited in what I can do this week